doorknob (I've seen them part 3) (Final part up next wednesday!)

To be honest I am angry. At nothing in particular, in the greater scheme of things, perhaps mankind's scariest invention that. But angry, scrawling, angry, angry that this sentence is _______ . Fill in your own there, and accept the random that your mind or fate or whatever you want to call it comes up with. Or to terms with. Drunken with a sickened hate, my inebriated mind cannot recall what it was that I did wrong. I am sure it happened, even now, but I refuse to apologize. I might do that when I am sober, and progressing as a gear in that scariest invention. But now I am stopped, given paper before me a a jam, a clog stopping the fluid around me from over heating. So we shall see what happens, the gears stopped, the fluid fermenting, and what shall become of the paper? I am, for the moment consumed by this thing, whatever the blank is up there, not as an inner demon of possession but one of an ex lover. It no longer returns my calls, and I think of it often, and in this consumption, this drunken madness, I have knocked on its door. It is all contained, that is this paper, in that moment. Staring at the door knob, with the door dark, like everything else in this world, with blinders as to what is going to happen. Though I know it can't be good, my mind or whatever it is races. It races as though the turning of that knob is everything. The world blown away but to a door knob reflecting me daring, or more correctly not daring to imagine what will transpire. Just a look at myself, as I am now, a stopped gear not moving but overheating off the fluid fermentation. That this moment, however so brief, a break in the lines
            
             as such seems to last forever, for longer than the good times, that is, those we do not remember.Just keep turning the wheel of that endless cycle. So What Have I Done? I have knocked on the door of everything I do not understand, Unprepared to deal with what happens next, lest it be random, or just motion again. I was guided here by malfunction, a disjointed liquid courage, Yet to accomplish anything, before my time is up.
(it's a lot cooler on a lined sheet of paper....)